"Grief does not change you,...it reveals you" quoted from John Green. Those of you who are reading this and saying out loud, or secretly in the deepest depths of your mind, or maybe even trying to telepathically communicate with me through your thoughts like Professor X in X-men saying "Why is the quote sad today". It's because just recently one of my good friends(BTW this isn't the girl who I mentioned in my earlier submissions, this is a completely different friend) grandmother has had a stroke, and I would like to dedicate this submission to both her and her grandmother. For starters for everyone reading this I could easily say that this friend has been there for me through thick and thin, has jumped over all the hurdles and obstacles and swam one thousand metres for me...well not literally but you get my point. She's been there for me ever since I could remember and even stayed friends with me when I was having all those troubles with mean teenage girl bullies in my first years of high school, and I felt inspired to dedicate this submission to her.
So this is how this story goes, I was sitting in my room surfing the net watching smosh videos when my phone went off because I had a text. The text basically said that her grandmother had a stroke and she was waiting outside the emergency room. I remember the first thing I said said was if both her and her grandmother were ok though my hyperventilating text message.( I know its not possible for a text message to hyperventilate, though I can guarantee you, that if you read this message out loud, it would make you hyperventilate. Thus the creation of a hyperventilating text message) She told me she felt lifeless and at that exact moment, I felt so bad for her. I had been in her position before where my grandmother had to be put into hospital because she was unwell. At that very moment I thought "Does this ever get any easier?" Iv'e found the answer to that question now. It doesn't get easier and there isn't a second road you can take to avoid something from happening, destiny has chosen its path and we can either stay and swim in a pool of our own greif, or move on and change our destinies for the better.
I told my friend what any good friend would say. I said to her that she didn't deserve what was happening in her life right now, because she's to much of a good person for this to happening to( I dont mean bad things should happen to those who are bad, thats not what I mean at all, its just that this girl couldn't do anything bad even if tried) I also said that I hope that both herself and her grandmother get better soon, because even though her grandmother may be having physical problems, I know that she's probably crying her eyes out because she's scared of whats happening around her. I also told her that I would always be their for her because that what friends are for.
Iv'e been in her position before where iv'e just broke down crying because I was afraid of losing someone I never thought would go away. Someone who I always imagined would be there, even when I grew up and maybe had a family of my own one day. I never imagined my own grandmother being gone until the same thing that happened to my friend happened to me. I remember that day so clearly, I was in year 5 or 6 and I only had six friends and was afraid to tell them what happened. The majority of my friends back then had already lost people who they cared for and I felt that if I mentioned my grandmothers stroke they would get upset. That was probably the worst thing iv'e ever done because what I really needed then was a friend, someones shoulder to cry on. Though I chose to keep it a secret and suffer secretly and hid away my greif with fake smiles.
My friend will probably never know that im glad that she told me, because I dont want her to go through I had to. Im happy she told me because now I can help her and try to make her happy. So the quote above that most of you have forgotten because I forgot until I re-read this submission, means that greif doesn't really change who we are on the inside it just shows the world who we are and not an emotionless doll. We all have different ways with dealing with greif. Some ways are better than others because believe me when I tell you this, keeping a secret that big from your friends and putting on a fake smile everyday doesn't make it any better, it just makes your worse in the longrun. When she replied back to me saying that I actually made her smile, it made me so happy. I knew that when she sent that I was being a good friend and it made me feel good on the inside.
Anyway what im trying to communicate though this submission is that everyone needs help, and we shouldn't be afraid to ask for it. Im also extremely proud that my friend wasn't scared to tell me what had happened. Its something that a lot of people in our generation aren't costumed to and just keep it inside. So for those reading this who may have lost someone, or loved one became ill, talk to someone because it works. By talking to someone it will make you feel better, it could be anyone. It could be your best friend, used to be friend, the crazy cat lady who lives down your block, or maybe someone you dont really know. You could even write a blog like im doing at the moment, because theres nothing holding us back except for ourselves. All we have to do is ask one question for it get better, isn't that better than trying to get over it by ourselves?
So this is how this story goes, I was sitting in my room surfing the net watching smosh videos when my phone went off because I had a text. The text basically said that her grandmother had a stroke and she was waiting outside the emergency room. I remember the first thing I said said was if both her and her grandmother were ok though my hyperventilating text message.( I know its not possible for a text message to hyperventilate, though I can guarantee you, that if you read this message out loud, it would make you hyperventilate. Thus the creation of a hyperventilating text message) She told me she felt lifeless and at that exact moment, I felt so bad for her. I had been in her position before where my grandmother had to be put into hospital because she was unwell. At that very moment I thought "Does this ever get any easier?" Iv'e found the answer to that question now. It doesn't get easier and there isn't a second road you can take to avoid something from happening, destiny has chosen its path and we can either stay and swim in a pool of our own greif, or move on and change our destinies for the better.
I told my friend what any good friend would say. I said to her that she didn't deserve what was happening in her life right now, because she's to much of a good person for this to happening to( I dont mean bad things should happen to those who are bad, thats not what I mean at all, its just that this girl couldn't do anything bad even if tried) I also said that I hope that both herself and her grandmother get better soon, because even though her grandmother may be having physical problems, I know that she's probably crying her eyes out because she's scared of whats happening around her. I also told her that I would always be their for her because that what friends are for.
Iv'e been in her position before where iv'e just broke down crying because I was afraid of losing someone I never thought would go away. Someone who I always imagined would be there, even when I grew up and maybe had a family of my own one day. I never imagined my own grandmother being gone until the same thing that happened to my friend happened to me. I remember that day so clearly, I was in year 5 or 6 and I only had six friends and was afraid to tell them what happened. The majority of my friends back then had already lost people who they cared for and I felt that if I mentioned my grandmothers stroke they would get upset. That was probably the worst thing iv'e ever done because what I really needed then was a friend, someones shoulder to cry on. Though I chose to keep it a secret and suffer secretly and hid away my greif with fake smiles.
My friend will probably never know that im glad that she told me, because I dont want her to go through I had to. Im happy she told me because now I can help her and try to make her happy. So the quote above that most of you have forgotten because I forgot until I re-read this submission, means that greif doesn't really change who we are on the inside it just shows the world who we are and not an emotionless doll. We all have different ways with dealing with greif. Some ways are better than others because believe me when I tell you this, keeping a secret that big from your friends and putting on a fake smile everyday doesn't make it any better, it just makes your worse in the longrun. When she replied back to me saying that I actually made her smile, it made me so happy. I knew that when she sent that I was being a good friend and it made me feel good on the inside.
Anyway what im trying to communicate though this submission is that everyone needs help, and we shouldn't be afraid to ask for it. Im also extremely proud that my friend wasn't scared to tell me what had happened. Its something that a lot of people in our generation aren't costumed to and just keep it inside. So for those reading this who may have lost someone, or loved one became ill, talk to someone because it works. By talking to someone it will make you feel better, it could be anyone. It could be your best friend, used to be friend, the crazy cat lady who lives down your block, or maybe someone you dont really know. You could even write a blog like im doing at the moment, because theres nothing holding us back except for ourselves. All we have to do is ask one question for it get better, isn't that better than trying to get over it by ourselves?
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